Dear Readers, get ready...because I'm about to reveal a deep dark secret to you....one that you can only learn through experience...A lesson that I had to painfully stumble upon at this point in my life...one that I am willing to share with you if you listen closely...are you ready...no really, are you READY?....here goes...
Having a big rack is HARD!
Let me back up...Yesterday morning, I'm up at 6:30 am for our joyous 7am staff meeting that we have every Tuesday morning. Thankfully, we are given some compensation for the obscene hour that we are forced to be coherent at in the form of orange juice, bagels and croissants. So dear old me, I grab a small croissant and head back to my seat...anticipating the next hour of nodding along in the right places while enjoying my wonderfully flaky and still low point (since its so small) croissant. 15 mins later, I'm done with the croissant and I'm about to present my little shpeel during the meeting...I stand up, do my thing, sit down and continue doodling on the side of my agenda. About 30 seconds later I happen to glance down at my shirt and what do I see but HALF of my croissant just flaking away on my chest! So there I am brushing croissant flakes off my chest, then trying to discreetly brush them off my skirt all while paying attention to the incessant stream of chatter floating around the table and trying to not look like a paranoid crazy person that keeps staring at my chest to make sure I got it all....What's more...I get called on during this whole fiasco to offer my input (I had NO idea, let me tell you about what direction the meeting was headed in) and so there I am babbling along to some question, holding onto a bunch of croissant flakes in one hand and leaning wayy forward so I can see over my chest to make sure I got all the flakes...oye vey!
Heres the thing that they don't tell you when you are "well endowed"...they forget to mention that quite often, you have to lean into your food for fear that your chest will act as a plate for most of your meal. They forget to tell you that running is not as zen of an experience as those TV commercials would lead you to believe....some days if you are near TOM or you don't have a strait jacket of a sports bra...it just hurts!! And sure you fill out your dresses well but what about those times when you find the perfect dress that fits wonderfully but just shows too much damn cleavage to be considered any sort of modest. And they forget to tell you that sometimes, it feels like no matter how much weight you lose, you will still look "curvy" "soft" or "endowed" rather than "toned, cut or shapely" and it takes more than just a little waist to look "skinny" So hallelujah, I look forward to minimizing some of these things with the weight loss (and being just the right amount of big...is there such a thing lol)...so next time you see a Hooters girl strutting her stuff...give her a little credit too...maybe she had to resign to the strait jacket at some point too!
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4 comments:
How funny! We both have heartfelt stories.. but yours made me crack up (and feel sympathetic).
I am on the opposite end- the only purpose of my bra is a personal fashion statement.
One good thing is that your "endowment" will go down with your weight. Most women lose it their first.
Also, from the humble opinion of a barely-B, I think well-endowed women have the benefit of always looking feminine. "Curvy" or not, you have that womanly appeal.
Thanks for sharing that funny story!
Lol, you are too funny. I'm another barely there B, probably should be an A but don't want to admit it, so I can't relate fully, but I've had crumbs on the boobs too - just not during a meeting. :)
Haha! I totally agree with you! My chest always seems to get in the way! They can be such a pain in the butt too-- when I go running, I need to wear 2 sports bras, and a tank top with support built in, AND a bunch of body glide! Ugh.
This is too funny!
There's a running joke with my mom & sis since they always spot a mark on my chest - yes right there, and mock me about it. It's not like we notice to keep it out of the way when we eat, do we? :)
Also so second the running comment. I could never get into running but now with decent sports bras they do help except on certain days.
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